I occasionally feel pressured to help pay for the desserts, but truly I’d rather not, since I’d prefer not to order them in the first place. On the other hand, it feels awkward to sit at a table with “shared” desserts and not chip in when the bill comes.

GENTLE READER: Since your friend’s dessert trick occurs regularly, it seems to Miss Manners that you should come prepared next time by saying, as she orders, “Thank you, but I’m not having dessert today. But you all go ahead.”

In today's Miss Manners column, advice columnist Judith Martin responds to graciously declining desserts and avoiding feeling obligated to pay.